the alamo and me

I moved!

2008-07-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

Back to my real name!

From this point on, all blogging will be performed here: tiffanymaples.blogspot.com.

Now hop to it.

Tornado Talk.

2008-07-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

tif: I WANNA SEE A TORNADO DAMN IT

ben: Don't say that!

tif: Why? We need some excitement round these parts. And it's the perfect reason to not
work.

ben: Fine. Keep them over there.

tif: I'll see what I can do. Just a small one... like a F1. Not a F4 or 5.

ben: You're an F6.

tif: That's because I'm off the charts!

Laaaaaaa La La La Laaa.

2008-07-23T21:10:00.000-07:00

I'm completely and utterly burnt out (creatively) right now. I'm dragging ass to finish a four-page layout. My brain has signed off. All I want to do is dance around to Crocodile Rock.

But the biggest kick I ever got
Was doing a thing called the crocodile rock

So freaking true.

And because the Muppets make everything that much better...

Horoscope of the Day.

2008-07-21T10:06:00.001-07:00

Rather odd and pertinent to how I feel today.

Your work activities get in the way of your real purpose today. It's not that you are a bad employee; it's just that right now your mind is not on pleasing your boss. You are ready for a real vacation or, at least, for a quick getaway to take your mind off the same old mundane tasks that prevent you from living out your fantasies.

Horoscope courtesy of tarot.com.

Number One!

2008-07-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Texas can claim the number one foam hand as their own. The foam hand isn't as old as I thought it would be. But the creator of the foam hand has a sweet story that involves rags to riches and that determined spirit for success.

In 1978 former high school teacher, geral fauss came up with the #1 foam hand, since then it has become a universal symbol for the phrase 'we're number one' and is among the most popular pieces of US sports merchandising.

The foam hand history.

(I couldn't resist posting the kapow in there.)

Red.

2008-07-17T08:42:00.001-07:00

I've had this un-gawdly itch to go back to red for the past year. I think I'm finally going to do it this weekend. I was holding back originally because I had worked so hard to get my natural back but since I already dyed parts of it brassy and that now needs to be gone, might as well go red. It's been over six years I think. A little scared.

Dark Knight.

2008-07-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO SPOIL THIS FOR YOU!
BUT I WON'T.
YET.

Last night I attended the screening of the Dark Knight in IMAX and all I can say is "holyfuckingshitthiswasamazingandicannotbelievehowgreatitwasandicannotwaittoseeitagain."

That's all I will say for now.

Best of Craigslist.

2008-07-16T14:08:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorites:

Missed Connection: My Period (Crampsville
Date: 2008-07-03, 9:55AM EDT

I saw you a couple of months ago, but since then you haven't shown up at your regular place. Is there someone else standing in the way of us hooking up? Is there a fetus blocking you?

Please come back and show me you care. I can't rest until I know where I stand with you.

* Location: Crampsville
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 741336944

Original Posting

Bikini Man.

2008-07-16T12:52:00.000-07:00

You haven't seen all that San Antonio has to offer until you've seen Bikini Man. Within the past few months I've noticed him more and more. Riding his bike, buying lumber and running straight into him at The Mix. It's a little hard to avoid him when you're on you way to re-open your tab for another Red Stripe and he's standing in the doorway. Blue package and all. I, personally, have never spoken to him aside from the soft spoken "excuse me" as I make my way to the bar. But he must be a great guy because he is always surrounded by friends. This little sideshow gave me more info on my mysterious Speedo wearing friend.

The story of Bikini Man.

Banksy Outed.

2008-07-14T10:33:00.000-07:00

The image above is rumored to be that of Banksy.

But for years the true identity of the artist Banksy has been a closely guarded secret, known to just a handful of friends.
Now a Mail on Sunday investigation has uncovered compelling evidence suggesting that the artist is former public schoolboy Robin Gunningham.

I don't understand why the Mail is so "shock and awe" that Banksy is most likely a very normal and middle-class.

Read the rest of the Mail article here.

Baby Onesies.

2008-07-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

It has taken me some time to post this due to birthday and holiday celebration delays but nonetheless, here are those onesies I screen printed about a month ago.

The one on the far left reads, "I traveled the birth canal and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." Next to that in red writing we have, "My mom's a fox." Center stage is, "Boob Man." To the above-right of that shirt is, "Daddy's lil' squirt." Last but not least to the far right is, "I spent 9 months in the hole." I was told they brought the little guy home in this one.

There Is A God!

2008-06-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

MOVIE CONFIRMED!!!

Love & Lions.

2008-06-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

Dorsey showed me this video yesterday and every time I watch it I cry a little. I'm such a sap.

Teaser Poster for W.

2008-06-09T12:53:00.000-07:00

imdb.com

The Return of Zeppelin(s)!

2008-06-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

And I don't mean the ones with guitars. They've already done that.

Germany is producing zeppelins again. More than 70 years after the infamous Hindenburg disaster, its latest airship was gently guided out of the hangar doors last month to make its maiden test flight.

There have been several reports that the zeppelin may very well make a come back in the skies. With significant advancements in technology since the Hindenburg, the passenger zeppelins are being touted as luxury cruises in the sky. I hope this includes those fun little animal towels.

What is it about airships that continues to capture the imagination? By rights, the lumbering airborne relics of a century past should be no more than museum curiosities, consigned like gas lamps to the sentimental roll-call of redundant technology. But like sacked television contestants, it's hard to keep an idea as audacious as the airship down. With the cost of oil at record highs, and airline chiefs warning of the end of cheap flights, the idea of the airship is being seriously floated once more.

Source: guardian.co.uk

King Tut To Come!

2008-06-09T11:01:00.000-07:00

King Tut is coming to Dallas! The exhibit, Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs, will be at the Dallas Museum of Art beginning October 2008 through May 2009. You can pre-register for tickets here. I've already pre-registered. Now to figure out a good weekend to go. Anyone in?

Get the rest of the scoop at the official site.

Classics In Lego.

2008-06-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

Flickr user Balakov has a great set of classic photographs that have been recreated with legos.

Check the rest of them out here.

The.Greatest.Hair.Ever.

2008-06-05T10:50:00.000-07:00

Source: Holy Taco

Sketchy Porn.

2008-06-05T10:44:00.000-07:00

What do you get when you collaborate porn with an Etch-A-Sketch? Stuff that somewhat resembles porn but mostly badly drawn penises. Take a look at Boinkology.

Rate My Wife!

2008-06-05T10:27:00.000-07:00

It is the 1930s and the marriages across the nation are in trouble. Blame it on the impending war , the economy or the dust bowl. If there was only some system to rate my wife. She's the problem of course.

[Enter Stage Left: Dr. George W. Crane]

Now presenting the The Marital Rating Scale. (Click image below for full chart)

The test was designed to give couples feedback on their marriages. Either husbands or wives could take the test, which rated wives in a variety of areas. For instance, if your wife "uses slang or profanity," she would get a score of five demerits. On the other hand, if she "reacts with pleasure and delight to marital congress," she would receive 10 merits. The test taker would add up the total number of merits and demerits to receive a raw score, which would categorize the wife on a scale from "very poor" to "very superior."

I find this amusing and incredibly interesting. Just a small glimpse of the husband and wife roles at this point in history.

Source: APA Online

The Vaginacycle!

2008-05-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

Where have I been? Slacking mostly. Seems like the entire month of May went by in a week. But do not fret my pretties (the whole two of you), I am back and with a kung-fu kick!

Today I am spreading the love from one fast vagina. And boy does it get around. Literally. Due to the NSFW nature (well not my work, but yours) of this image I've safely cropped it - somewhat - for you here.

Finnish artist Mimosa Pale feels the world is too man-parts-centric. We'd agree. However, we're not sure what to think about a form of protest that includes thrice weekly cruising the streets of Helsinki. inviting its inhabitants to take a ride by slipping inside her giant disembodied vagina mounted on top of her bike taxi. It'll invite discussion for sure, and yes, that is one of the expressed objectives for this mobile art and protest piece.

Now go check out the full details at Jalopnik.

And thanks to Mandy for the original linkage!

Creatures of the Deep.

2008-04-11T11:19:00.000-07:00

New Zealand's National Institute of Water and Atmospheric Research team recently took a 35-day trek to Antarctic waters collecting over 30,000 marine life specimen and discovering many new species along the way. Some of the most interesting collected were gigantic starfish, sea pigs, sea spiders, new octopuses (or is it octopi? I never know), several new fish, crustaceans, and so on.

Pictured above is a sea pig (really a sea cucumber) and pictured below is an octopus found 3,280 feet below sea level. Is it me or doesn't this octopus look like the alien baby Will Smith had to deliver in the back seat of a car during Men In Black?

Go check out the rest of the photos here at National Geographics. The starfish are gigantic.

Raptor Friday!

2008-04-11T10:32:00.000-07:00

I received an awesome little gift this morning from one of the editorial interns. I've been known to impersonate Velociraptors from time to time so she brought me this little guy...

This morning we re-enacted scenes from Jurassic Park because I also have a Jeep Transformer toy.

And this is exactly why I love my job.

Absolut Got Us!

2008-04-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

There has been much heated debate since Absolut ran a "controversial" ad in Mexico last month. Mostly from Americans who are butt-hurt over the ad and have no sense of humor whatsoever. Click the image below for the full ad.

I found it to be rather clever and a definite eye catcher. However, that small percent of "people who ruin it for everyone else" did not. The ad was meant to run in Mexico. Which means you cater towards that market. So the Americans who found it went up in arms over the entire situation. Which lead to blowing it out of proportion. Kaboom.

Last week, Absolut’s makers Vin & Spirit said the ad was created “with a Mexican sensibility” and was not meant for the U.S. market. Absolut released an apology saying “In no way was this meant to offend or disparage, nor does it advocate an altering of borders, nor does it lend support to any anti-American sentiment, nor does it reflect immigration issues.”

Go to Shape and Colour for the full rant on the issue.

Buy More of Me!

2008-04-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to re-instill itself into consumer minds, Starbucks has rolled out a new design on their cups.

Because the green Starbucks logo is so pervasive, the switch to the retro version is an immediate attention-grabber. It’s just one part of a much broader effort underway at Starbucks, in which the company is stressing a return to its roots and working to reemphasize its brewed-coffee chops.

Does this make you want to buy more Starbucks?

Check the full article details from Buzzwatch.

Si se Puede!

2008-02-24T19:05:00.000-08:00

I am finding numerous amounts of Obama related artwork that I'm falling head over heels for. This one comes via Upper Playground and is especially dear to those of us from Texas.

To help secure Obama's bid, Upper Playground has asked the Date Farmers to create a campaign poster to be mass-distributed on offset posters throughout Texas prior to the primary in that state. Upper Playground is offering the same image as a limited-edition screen print of the Date Farmers' Obama 2008 campaign poster through www.upperplayground.com. There will only be 300 limited-edition copies of the poster signed and numbered by the artists available (price is $200 each). All proceeds from the sales of the Date Farmers’ Obama 2008 screen print will go directly to creating more campaign posters and stickers by other artists in support of Obama's bid for President.

Tetris Anyone?

2008-02-24T18:57:00.000-08:00

Another foreign object but luckily this one comes from the clearly marked portfolio of Czech designer Martin Zampach.

Unfortunately this is not a real product yet but Zampach says if you're interested in collaborating there is no better way to get started than to contact him. No?

Wine Labels.

2008-02-24T18:48:00.000-08:00

I have no idea what kind of wine this is, where it is from or who is behind it because I can't read the LiveJournal with this post. I think it is Russian but how am I really to know? Really?

Luckily your visual eye is not hindered from the language barrier and neither is mine because I'm the type of gal who chooses her fermented grape juice by the looks of the label. This is one I'd definitely choose.

Obama Backer.

2008-02-20T07:57:00.000-08:00

Posted by Jennifer on MySpace originally.

And for all the Barack-isms you need check out this site where you can click away for new reasons to gain supporters or really, just make you giggle on the inside.

WTF Mavs?

2008-02-13T20:31:00.000-08:00

I am thoroughly disappointed with the Mavs. I can't even begin to express how angry I am. Head over to Girls Gone Sports for the entire issue and my comments about this bullshit deal.

p.s. I'm posted as ".tif"

The HoboHookah.

2008-02-06T19:54:00.000-08:00

The essential every-day, user-friendly, portable hookah! Promising to turn almost any bottle into an instant hookah. The kit comes with a stainless steel pipe promising to fit on almost any bottle or vase, a six-foot hose, clay bowl, tongs and carrying bag with room to include a one litter bottle.

Climb a mountain and use your now empty water bottle. Hard night of drinking? Use that empty Absolut bottle. Hell, you can even use produce for your base. A pumpkin probably works much better than a potato.

Let me sum this up with: I want. Available for purchase through Amazon.com.

Read more product info and testimonials at HoboHookah.com.

Mmmm... Cupcakes.

2008-02-05T15:32:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure who flickr user Hello Naomi is but I sure want to hire her for my next birthday. She has a really great collection of cupcakes and cookies on her flickr set.

God Hates Heath.

2008-01-24T10:12:00.000-08:00

In the midst of all the Heath death news those fuck-crazy Westboro Baptist bitches have managed to shove themselves into it all.

"Heath Ledger is now in Hell and has begun serving his eternal sentence—beside which, nothing else about Heath Ledger is relevant or consequential."

Read the article over at GayWired.com.

Hel-Fucking-Vetica.

2008-01-23T07:38:00.001-08:00

The shirt says it all. You most likely don't understand this unless you hail from a design-sense community of some sort. Let's just say that there is a serious love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with the font family Helvetica.

Buy it for me at wireandtwine.com.

Delicious Grillz.

2008-01-17T08:12:00.000-08:00

A 7-year-old boy in Sanford, Florida was rushed to a local emergency room last week after choking on and swallowing a pair of "grillz" his mother had purchased for him at a local flea market.

A: Who buys their seven-year-old child a set of grillz?
B: What constitutes as a pair of "knock-off" grillz?
C: How long does it take for a pair of grillz to digest?
D: Will his poo sparkle?

Read the whole story here.

Apple's Inspiration.

2008-01-15T10:28:00.001-08:00

The inspiration or rip-off behind most of Apple's "innovative" designs? You be the judge.

What most people don't know is that there's another man whose products are at the heart of Ive's design philosophy, an influence that permeates every single product at Apple, from hardware to user-interface design.

Read and see more in the full article at Gizmodo.com.

RIP: London

2007-12-28T12:46:00.000-08:00

You were a good kitty.

For Writers.

2007-12-16T20:24:00.001-08:00

A perfect mug for all my writing friends.

There are a few different varieties and notebook inspired plates to match.

Brought to you by Fishs Eddy.

Take a Hint.

2007-12-16T20:17:00.000-08:00

The Hint Ring:

For girls trying to be subtle. For dads trying to unload their daughters.

Turn the page.

2007-12-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

As if you probably haven't read it somewhere else already... today was my last day in hell. I said my byes to those who matter and those who matter actually returned the goodbyes. And yes, I am indicating that there were certain people who did not say goodbye. Instead felt it was oh-so necessary to call a client that they have never cared to really call before. Nice move. Not that I'm upset that I didn't get a "peace out" or at least a wave goodbye because quite frankly my darling, I don't give a damn.

I do however think it was very rude and inconsiderate that you didn't say goodbye to the one stable person within your company who helped you do a whole hell of a lot within the last fifteen months that you apparently could not accomplish yourself. And what made that lack of gratefulness even worse is that the other employees noticed your lack of goodbye when I received each of their text messages asking, "did he even say goodbye?" Whoops. I let it slip, it is quite clear who this particular person is since I gave way to their gender and that that person is the only gender of its kind in the office. Well aside from the same gendered person who started yesterday but he doesn't count.

So my question to him is, "Is that bitterness in your mouth or did the cat get your tongue?"

Been a long time.

2007-11-17T11:21:00.000-08:00

Past few months have been rough and busy. I'm going to try this again.

Birthday!

2007-06-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

Buy me something nice.

I'm Smitten.

2007-06-07T22:34:00.000-07:00

With SJP's Bitten line. Nothing over $20! That's my kind of bargain. And my dad absolutely loves Steve & Barry's so we will get to spend tons of father/daughter time there. Of course on opposite sides of the store.

Oahu.

2007-05-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard... I'm going! And I'm uber excited. We got our vacation house settled and ready to rock. It was once owned by this guy, Lord "Tally-ho" Blears. And to save you the trouble of Googling (because I already did it)... he was a radio-officer in WWII, professional wrestler and played a bartender on two episodes of Magnum P.I.

Happy Birthday to myself!

Back.

2007-05-29T21:18:00.001-07:00

I died a little bit after that horrendous Mavs "playoff" series.

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without Mavs on my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how they did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so I'm back
from depression

I just turned to the Phoenix Suns
hoping that they would have a chance
I should have changed my lucky socks
I should have booed the Spurs more
If I had known for just one second
Nash would be kneed to the groin

Eh... I'm still working on it.

Tomorrow's Headline.

2007-05-03T22:05:00.000-07:00

Dallas Mavs set new record for most disappointed fans.

Who are you? What happened to my team? Where is your heart? Hell, what happened to your soul?

And I just adore how all of a sudden the Warriors have all these celebrity fans. That was sarcasm if you didn't catch it.

I'm angry.

I'd like to see it come down to the Suns and Cavs.
Go Suns.

Dear Mavs,

2007-05-01T17:34:00.000-07:00

Please don't make me cry tonight.

.Tif

Fiesta is Over.

2007-04-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

San Antonio knows how to party
San Antonio knows how to party
In the citaaay of S.A.
In the citaaay of good ol' drunks
In the citaaay, the Alamo City
We keep it rockin, we keep it rockin

It wasn't that there were a ton of people. It was that there was a hell of a lot of empty beer bottles when we woke up this ~~morning~~ afternoon. Ben and I were talking about it in comparision to his memorable Super Tuesday parties. It just comes down to the fact that people in this town drink a ridiculous amount. The turn out was good and Ben's shirt was the life of the party. I got him the T-Qualizer conveniently in time for his birthday. All had a good time and there was only one party foul of the night. That being when someone knocked over a glass after Rosenboom Jr. beat every challenger in the beer chugging contest. We didn't attend a single Fiesta event but we made our own for sure. The only person that didn't show was the Most Interesting Man. I was disappointed but I know I'll see him again soon.

Nerd Alert International.

2007-04-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

Drink Up Kids.

2007-04-23T18:03:00.000-07:00

It's National Beer Day...

In Germany.

Good enough for me!

Number Five is Alive.

2007-04-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

Heh, heh. I thought last week was busy? I worked about 70 hours this past week and I'm tired as hell. I was at work from 830am one day all the way to 630am the next morning. 22 hours. WTF? And the night before I had been there till 130am. Several coffee runs were made. Had to do with a proposal and a kick-off of collateral at the airport. Definitely the most insane week I think I've had in my entire life.

Fiesta started in San An on Friday. And if you don't know what Fiesta is then think of it as a Mexican Mardi Gras. Which is a week long celebration of drunkeness. We were going to hit up the Oyster Bake but opted to go see Hot Fuzz instead. I think we made the right decision. Especially because Oyster Bake is supposed to be ridiculously crowded. Then again so is NIOSA but I'm so down for that. I want a giant turkey leg. This upcoming week is gonna be busy again. Thursday is the Current party and then Ben's birthday is Friday but he has an Air Force banquet he must attend so I'm taking him out for dinner on Saturday. And his mom will be in town that weekend as well so we'll be over at his grandmother's a lot.

Sleep is just not in my future.

But the best news of all is that I'm going to be in Hawaii June 30th thru July 6th!!! I'm stoked.

Kwik-E Mart.

2007-04-08T22:30:00.000-07:00

7-11 might be mating with The Simpsons. There's talks (but no confirmation) that 7-11 will dress some of its locations as Kwik-E Marts to coincide with The Simpsons movie release where you will even be able to buy Squishees.

If all goes as planned, the convenience store chain plans to refit 11 stores across the U.S. -- Richmond is an unlikely choice -- to resemble the front of the Kwik-E-Mart, the convenience store that Homer and other characters frequent in the classic cartoon TV series.

I hope and pray that there will be one somewhere in Texas that I can drive to with camera in hand. New MySpace photo what?

Read all of the article here.

Nerd Alert.

2007-04-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

New HP: Order of the Phoenix stills up for you to see here.

As you all should know by now... this was my favorite book of the series so far and I'm uber excited about seeing it. Uber! I mean I freaking cried during the book. And I'll definitely end up crying at the same part during the movie. Here's a link to the teaser again.

Get here July 13th!

Adventures in Bueno.

2007-04-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

I've been ridirkulously busy as of the past week and a half. I didn't leave work before seven any day of the week last week. Deadlines to meet and RFPs to take care of. Had a horrendous time getting back to DFDub last weekend for two birthdays. Flight was cancelled twice due to stormtastic weather (which I would have greatly enjoyed if I wasn't trying to fly home) and then eventually delayed on the third flight. But nonetheless I made it in, saw my ladies, ate some OTB plus Babe's and wished my pop's the big one. While I was back in DFDub I expressed my dissapointment in San An for not having a Taco Bueno when Lauren told of a tale that there was in fact one Bueno in the Alamo City and that a girl we know drove from San Marcos to San Antonio just to eat there. So when I got back I started searching and found it. Oh yes. There is only one Taco Bueno and it is less than 10 minutes from my house. Heaven in a taco shell.

I made sure to get the facts on this Bueno. It just opened as of the beginning of the year and I was told that there would be 11 more opening over the next 3 years - which is also about the expected duration of my living time in this town. I am set for now.

Lately I've been using my lunch breaks to brush up and re-teach myself Spanish. Apparently it is having a deep mental effect because I have had two dreams in complete Spanish two nights in a row. One involved Mandy with a boyfriend who was a larger version of Enrique Inglesias sans the mole. The other wasn't interesting enough for me to remember but I know it happened.

And I'm jealous of you bastards back home who got snow again (!!!) this year. What is the world coming to? Snow in April in Texas? Say what? I didn't get snow here but I got lots of cold and lots of rain. There was even a rain drop that fell directly into my eye. How this happened... I'm still not sure but my eye hurt from the freeze of it all.

Suck It Phil Collins.

2007-03-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

Stop what your doing and watch this cover of "In The Air Tonight" go down on the Paris Metro. It's a High Fidelity "Is that Peter Fuckin Frampton? I always hated this song. Yeah... I kinda like it. Yeah..." moment for me. But now with "Is that Phil Fuckin Collins?"

Pay special attention to the man wearing the black jacket, listening to his iPod who continues to stand with his back to Naturally 7 as if he is completely appalled at what is taking place behind his back.

SpeckTone Retro.

2007-03-21T18:14:00.000-07:00

This has made it to the top of my wants and needs list.

By far my favorite iPod docking station and player. And yes, I want it in the puke/lime green color.

Thank you Speck!

Wicked Door.

2007-03-21T18:00:00.000-07:00

Doors fall on witches too. Not just houses. I think I'm going to order one of these now. My office door refuses to stay open on it's own.

Hold the door and delight little Munchkins with this wickedly funny doorstopper.

From Signals. If you're bored and need to surf I recommend that you check out the rest of the goods they have to sale. It is kind of like Ross: you have to dig but you can find gold.

Tiny Turtle.

2007-03-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

I like animals. I like tiny animals.

And now there is a Flickr set full of tiny animals on fingers.

Just a quick note to those who submit these photos of these tiny creatures on your fingers: MANICURE! I know it is scary... some Korean lady who's cutting and clipping you up and talking shit about you at the same time in a language you don't understand. But don't be frightened. It is for your own good.

Va Va Va Vroom.

2007-03-21T17:24:00.000-07:00

Is it a little much when the Pirates 3 trailer makes me hot?

Out.

2007-03-14T23:46:00.000-07:00

Aside from the fact that I haven't had the time to update lately...

I will be out of the blogging commission over the next six days. Four for partying. Two for recovering. Mandy and Lauren will set forth on a journey to visit me tomorrow and we will then spend the next four days on a drunken stupor here in San An. Which I have officially dubbed "The Real Margaritaville."

See you on the other side...

You Heard.

2007-03-05T18:58:00.000-08:00

He may not have his two front teeth. He may not even be four feet tall yet, but that doesn't mean Bentley Green isn't genius.

Go see what I'm talking about here. Thanks you ladies at GGS.

Check It.

2007-03-04T21:36:00.000-08:00

If you haven't done so yet, you definitely need to check out Girls Gone Sports.

It is a fucking riot complete with pro sports stem and balls.

Exactly.

2007-03-04T20:46:00.000-08:00

This pretty much sums up every day at work...

Thank you >Sky Deck Cartoons!

Crayolatastic.

2007-03-04T20:36:00.000-08:00

I want a real set of these. The detail and sharp edges are beautiful. Amazing work for such a soft solid.

But this really doesn't compare to the rest of Pete Goldlust's work. Check out his mixed media installations on his site.

Smack

2007-03-04T20:32:00.000-08:00

This will surely leave an imprint in your face when I'm done with you.

And if you're not into "bitch" then you can try the flower or the bird. Not that bird, a real bird. Over at Blanc&Reed Shop.

Wallpapered.

2007-02-19T22:02:00.000-08:00

I could watch OK Go music videos all day long. They entertain me so much.

And is it the same design from the Banksy elephant? If not exact then close.

Forest Roll.

2007-02-19T21:55:00.000-08:00

Although my sleeping on a bed roll and only a bed roll idea did not pan out so well a few years back, I'm still a fan of them. I still like to curl up and take a good Saturday nap on the ol' bed roll from time to time. And this Forest Roll from Aguiniga Design is right up my napping alley.

Try and tell me that doesn't look cozy and comfortable. Try.

Helvetica.

2007-02-19T21:38:00.000-08:00

Sure Helvetica is a great default font but sometimes you're just tired of seeing the word "Helvetica" every time you open Illustrator. Thankfully my favorite professor in school left a huge impact on me, "Never use Helvetica unless you really mean it. Helvetica is for the everyday." Someone has made a documentary that will hopefully be shown to all students and hopefully make them realize why there is life beyond Helvetica. Because really... it is freaking everywhere. It's premiering at SXSW this year. I sooooo want to see it because not only is it about a font that I love and loathe, it will also expose and explore design, advertising, communication, psychology, etc. All things I love and loathe equally.

Amazing.

2007-02-19T21:36:00.000-08:00

Comfort? That depends. Functional? Totally. Especially for small spaces or for the indecisive.

Gah.

2007-02-15T20:52:00.000-08:00

I just made a ridiculously long post and the effing Internet Explorer "encountered a problem" and had to shut the fuck down. I hate you Internet Explorer!

This is what I get for using Ben's computer.

Where's my Firefox when I need it?

He Knows.

2007-02-15T19:42:00.000-08:00

Everyone.

Who?

Benjamin.

Who does he know?

Ryan Rosenboom.

Apparently they took confirmation together back at St. Jo's so many years ago.

Blog of Interest.

2007-02-14T20:59:00.000-08:00

I just spent the last hour and a half creating a layout with a logo I mocked out via creative vision from Mandy for hers and Lauren's new joint sports blog.

Go on. Go look.

The links still need to be filled in but I'm gonna leave that up to them.

Now if only I could put forth that sort of effort on my own blog.

iVibrator.

2007-02-04T21:37:00.000-08:00

Yes.

It is what you think it is.

OhMiBod is a sleek, sophisticated new generation of vibrator that combines elegance of design with the excitement of your favorite music.

Here.

It's Just a Plant.

2007-02-04T21:26:00.000-08:00

Many parents have tried marijuana, some still use it. Neither feel great about disclosing such histories (many duck the question), for fear that telling their kids might encourage them to experiment on their own.

Well now there is an illustrated children's book out in the world to explain to our youngsters that it really is a just a plant. The story involves a little girl walking in on her parent's smoking it up, visiting a farmer to learn more, calling out four black men puffing along and then (of course) teaches us that it is up to "responsible" adults to use if chosen to do so.

From now until Vday you can read it online for free.

Ninjas.

2007-02-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

Ninja here, ninja there, ninja everywhere. They're taking ninjas to the extreme.

Ninja Words: A really fast dictionary... fast like a ninja.

Ninja: Deadly Accurate Search Engine.

Ninja New York: A ninja themed restaurant. Video below.

Kanga Clutch.

2007-02-04T21:10:00.000-08:00

I'm in love with this little clutch with pink kangaroos.

Available at one of my top favorite online stores... ELSEWARES.

I do not often wear pink of any shade but I just can't help loveing cute pink colored animals.

Baby Jesus Cries.

2007-02-03T10:28:00.000-08:00

LINK.

I bet it is about global warming.

Scratch N Sniff Me.

2007-02-01T08:20:00.000-08:00

I'm at work looking for a company online to print custom stickers when I came across a bajillion scratch n' sniff makers. One company in particular has a maple fragrance. So I had an idea...

Whenever I start promoting my self and work (no telling when that could ever possibly be) I should make my promotional pieces with the maple scratch n' sniff fragrance.

Yea?

I get a lot of shit about not using the "Maples" part of my name to my benefit but I think it is incredibly cheesey to use a maple leaf or tree or syrup or whatever else. But I think the scratch n' sniff sticker is subtle enough and cool enough to work.

Thoughts?

Career Move.

2007-01-31T18:22:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about it today for quite some time. I think it could be a good move. Would definitely be worth the money. I'd still get to stay in my field (somewhat) and attend swanky events.

What am I talking about?

Celebrity photo retoucher.

Seriously. They do wonders on Mariah, Fergie and Terri Hatcher. Hell, they can even make Brooke Hogan look semi-feminine every once in awhile.

You know these celebrities are bound to have personal photo retouchers who they pay lots and lots of money to.

Take the Fluid Effect. They do this all day long. Just look at the sampling of thier before/after gallery. Glenn Feron's portfolio has all sorts of goods. And Pascal Dangin gets paid mega bucks.

I need to find a connection quick.

Sneak Peak.

2007-01-31T18:13:00.000-08:00

Photoshop CS3 with it's new face lift.

While I Was Sleeping.

2007-01-30T08:10:00.000-08:00

I've been in a coma for the past two weeks. Obviously. Here's what I learned while I was away and what I learned when I got back to the land of internet.

Smokin' Aces was a bit disappointing. Okay but I was hoping for better. The only saving grace was Ryan Reynolds face - which was definitely worth the eight bucks.

Whoever created the Bell Biv DeVoe music profile on MySpace spelt "Poison" as "Posion" and it can now be seen on my page.

It is easy to trespass onto the rooftops of downtown San An on a cold Saturday night.

And this past weekend was a big big blur. Hooray for Vanessa visiting me. :)

And in the actual news world...

Hobbits are real... Or are they?

Robotic Parking. Wait, do people drive cars in Chinatown?

The man who brought us I Dream of Jeannie has killed over.

Convincing reasons why not to let my possible future children attend school in San Antonio.

The village to go with Stonehenge.

Woof woof. Obey your pyschologist. Otherwise you'll wear a collar.

WTF: Now with Images.

2007-01-17T10:09:00.000-08:00

And those icicles hanging from my car are attached to the ground beneath.

WTF.

2007-01-17T07:51:00.000-08:00

There is a tree on my car.

That's right, a tree. Apparently the ice has made it so heavy that it is now laying on my car. I can't move.

Mama I'm Coming Home.

2007-01-15T21:55:00.000-08:00

This weekend: January 19-21, 2007.

I'm bringing my new found tumor/knot/cyst/blood clot/swollen nerv/whatever with me as well. I developed some funky marble-sized knot right-smack in middle of my forearm. Inside of my left forearm to be exact. I noticed it late Thursday night. It hurts to pretty much do anything with my arm. Probably why it has taken me ten minutes to type just this little blurb out. It sits on top of a fairly large vein and it is raised above my actual arm plane making it seem like a tiny mountain. It is hard, tender and swollen. I think it could be a twin. Probably has teeth in it. I'll hopefully find out something when I go to the Doc on Wednesday.

And I though DFDub went crazy over these Arctic Blasts. South Texas doesn't know what the hell to do. Which is beneficial to me because so far tonight they've closed every possible bridge, over pass and highway above 3 feet that is in route to work. Thus making it virtually impossible for me to be able to go to work tomorrow *crosses fingers*.

Yeesh.

2007-01-05T15:52:00.001-08:00

It's been a long long long long week. Mentally and physically exhausted I am. But I'm seeking optimism.

Pat Fucking Robertson.

2007-01-02T22:06:00.000-08:00

If any of you know me whatsoever you know that I hate Pat Robertson with every ounce of my soul. Just the whisper of his name makes me livid.

Televangelist cannot be trusted in my book. Remember Jim Bakker, Marjoe Gortner, Peter Popoff, and Jimmy Swaggart? Exactly.

And how can I even possibly relate to a man (demon) who believes and preaches any of the following: 9/11 was caused by "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the American Civil Liberties Union and the People for the American Way." He has openly accused other Christian denominations of being spirits of the Antichrist. Which does not connect in my brain - aren't you in it for the same cause? He likes to take credit that his prayers kept natural disasters away, except of course when it is "God's will" to kill masses in order to destroy those that are completely sinful. In his opinion feminism is a "socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." Which makes me laugh a lot. So on and so forth.

Grrrr. I better get to my point before I become completely side tracked... Basically I think he's full of shit and it seems he is once again predicting the future.

Cunt.

2006-12-30T01:17:00.000-08:00

Alison Carmichael gets my official seal of awesomeness with this poster. She's a hand lettering and calligraphy guru with natural talent and quite the portfolio. You've probably seen her work in various places before.

Click the image to view larger.

Mandy, I think you and I both need one of these posters.

News Overload.

2006-12-29T22:38:00.000-08:00

I've been uber busy lately with work and freelance work so here is the list of news links I kept bookmarking and meaning to blog about. Some may seem like ancient news at this point but we must all remember that some people live under rocks. Cheers.

What I really want to know now: Who to play role of Freddie?"

Raven gets larger and has witches nose. She looks like ass all the time. What happened to the good ol' days when she was cute and tiny on the Cosby Show? I wish I could find the photo where I compared her to a cockatoo and Randy Jackson.

Learn how to write already!

Ring in the New Year with the new Saks Fifth Avenue Identity. Simple concept with great execution.

2006's Sexiest Geeks. Kari Byron should totally be on the official list. Bitch is dead sexy and an artist - not just a scientist. Actually, she's pretty well rounded which makes her even hotter. Let's just say... I'd do her.

Amazon to turn into Grass by end of century. Which means I need to go travel it before it happens. Seriously, I really do want to travel the Amazon.

Huge chunk of ice snaps and separates in Arctic. Well this can't be good.

City Council likes to ban a lot of things... and stupid things.

And yes, that is a panda bear reading the newspaper up there.

Dirk.

2006-12-28T19:47:00.000-08:00

Fuck yes!

p.s. This is one of the few times I actually get to watch a Mavs game on TV since the Spurs have some kind of hold over Time Warner Cable and like to not show games even when their TV listing says they are.

Howard.

2006-12-28T19:44:00.000-08:00

Looked like Spiderman with that loopty-loop in mid air.

Also, Ben said Nash looks like John Kershner... uhh... can you see the resemblence?

January Fly Time.

2006-12-27T22:09:00.000-08:00

I have to go home sometime in January to deliver presents. And this time I will definitely book my flight in advance through Southwest to avoid crap air fare (at least compared to, once I saw how cheap Southwest was). My parentals will be in Vegas the weekend of January 19-21. This could be a prime time to come but I need guarantee that I have a place to sleep, eat and shit. Also, I'd need guarantee that someone would pick my ass up from Love Field. If not that weekend then probably January 12-14.

Yay? Nay?

Good Christmas.

2006-12-25T21:03:00.000-08:00

My first Christmas in my own house was damn good. Lots of good stuff was exchanged but I was happy for my mom more than anyone/thing else.

The back story of my parents for those who don't know:

My parents were married three months before I was born. Doesn't seem like a big deal except that they were 17 and 18 when I finally arrived. My father had just graduated high school and went straight to work and never stopped. My mom still had to complete senior year so she could graduate from high school. So there wasn't a lot of spending room and when they were first married they only had wedding bands - which were heirlooms if I'm not mistaken.

Well my dad got my mom her first diamond ring of her very own this year. It just made me cry watching her cry and realizing how much it does really mean to her. And to make it all better he bought her a Past, Present and Future ring. She was extremely happy and completely taken by surprise. That really did make my Christmas complete.

Spurs Sighting No. 1.

2006-12-21T18:34:00.000-08:00

Michael Finley stalked Ben through a Best Buy today.

Really, I think it was more likely the other way around. Especially considering the ninja-esque spy photos on his new camera phone.

(Yes, it really did happen. Ben finally got a new phone.)

And then he punched him in the balls.

GO MAVS!

Home Again.

2006-12-18T22:02:00.000-08:00

DFDub was fucking fun and I suck for not living there.

The end.

Recipes.

2006-12-12T21:04:00.000-08:00

I'd really like a recipe box like this one from Fred Flare (I think I've posted about this before on the old blog I somehow deleted completely). It's cute and organized. That and I can easily design more blank recipe cards and have them printed to match as my collection grows. Benjamin would probably like me to have a recipe box too; right now I just have a stack of paper on the counter that I know he wants to throw away.

But it is waaaaay too close to Christmas to be buying myself anything. That is still the golden holiday rule, right? If not let me know so I can finally go into a Target once again.

Me In A Nutshell.

2006-12-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

THIS explains everything.

It is the most truthful and reliable written source of why I am the way I am. Why I think the way I think. Why I see the way I see. Why I look the way I look. Why I live the way I live.

And the captions to the photos are cleverly placed beneath the photos. I hadn't scrolled far enough down on a lot of the photos and thought what the captions said. I sent this link to a few of my design friends and they had the same reaction.

Maybe Lame.

2006-12-12T09:58:00.000-08:00

But I have this vision of me trying to pass through security checkpoint at the Airport with a pumpkin roll in my carry-on and that the screener will think it is a bomb and destroy my pumpkin roll goodness.

Bond Kids.

2006-12-11T21:24:00.000-08:00

Here is a list of YouTube videos of all the Bond intros up to date (except for Casino Royale obviously).

But it doesn't stop there.

Right here is a list of links for all the Bond trailers.

Cheers.

Fruit Bowl.

2006-12-11T21:17:00.000-08:00

This is the kind of fruit bowl I want. Something I can put on the center of the table and look pretty yet functional. The plastic tupperware bowls we're currently using are functional - yes - but not that pretty.

From MyricaDesign.

Room Planner.

2006-12-11T21:14:00.000-08:00

This is pretty damn handy.

The Room Planner can let you rearrange your living or bedroom without physically moving anything at all. And it is completely customizable for your needs.